Why and why no one answered?

It is such a shame when I tried reinventing myself to achieve a goal (sometimes a superior one) and I wasn't seeing any results--not even one. My plans were mere blueprint put to waste. Why do I even bother achieving something when I can't even achieve it? It is like carrying an unworthy pressure--self-inflicting pain.

The sad thing is that my inspiration vessel (whatever that is) had already been depleted. I am becoming a stagnant piece that has departed from its origin. Now, I never get to experience the things that inspires me. I am an unknown in my cold-hearted environment. I just shouted for help and there were just echoes coming back...just echoes.

I examined myself and found that I am always an underdog to my own dreams and that no one believed that I can do it. After all this time, I felt it was just me and was always me. Was I just fighting for myself? I now felt that it was true but I just hate to confirm it, to admit it. Believing that someone has believed in me was a huge risk of assumption for me to take;thus, there were just assumptions and I was nothing after-all.

Questions are the key imperatives that is always embedded in my mind. I ask myself all the time. I even question my dreams and there are always road blocks. I'm always tired of playing safe, however, I don't have courage to take further risks outside my comforts. Technically, it is a genuine emotion when I say that I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

I feel lost.

Is anybody there?